Samyak = Balance

How to find balance in a world that is filled with unbalance? That is where I am right now. I feel like I am trying to juggle so many things and have so many ideas that seem to be at the tip of the iceberg (is that even the right phrase?? You know what I mean). So many ideas that have not exactly come to full fruition but I can feel in my gut how beautiful they are.


It makes me think of the analogy I hear so often of the seed. I am at the point where I have gone to the market, seen my little seed packet, loved the picture, purchased the seed and planted it. Now, I am waiting for it to flourish... did I mention that PATIENCE is not my greatest virtue??? I want everything now! I want to see all my ideas made reality, but then again wouldn't that be bigger chaos than what I currently have. Alas, my issue of balance.


I recently learned that one of the coolest Sanskrit words (just love the way it sounds), samyak, means balance. How appropriate for this stage in my life. I am recently single. And by recently I mean 2 years and some change ago, come on people you know it's hard to let go of any relationship but one with a person with whom you've had kids is particularly difficult! This is particularly so if you are trying to remain amicable, "trying" being the key word. I still have a full-time job in non-profit, and am head on with my meditation practice- add to that a little yoga and that sums up my life. Pretty simple, you might think...where do you need to find balance there? Well, the relationship with the ex speaks for itself so I won't go there, the job and work balance... isn't that every working parent's struggle, single or not? And then there's my meditation practice. I have to laugh here because if you've ever sat down to meditate, you'll know that while having small children around "serene, quiet, peaceful" these are not necessarily the adjectives that go along with that. Loud, wild, sporadic those are more the adjectives that describe a household with small children, well at least mine.


I sat down the other day to do a morning prayer, and while the girls are well aware and respectful of all my things, they are particularly so about my Buddhas and offerings. So when I said, I am going to sit down and say (recite) Cherezig they "knew exactly what that meant". I will talk to you as soon as I am done...no questions before then ok? Look me in the eye. ok? OK! OK! Off they ran. Maybe 5 minutes into it comes the first question, "Mommy, can you please tell her to share" I try to ignore and see that this does not work. I look up and sort of nod, give the mom look and everything appears to have normalized. 5 more minutes "Mommy, mommy, mommy" I look up, a little serious and then OM MANI PADME HUM, balance! I know that when people think about meditation and sitting on their cushions, talking is not supposed to be part of it. I know that when you are reciting a mantra or a sadhana, you are supposed to go through it with single-pointed concentration but right then and there I realized that this is my personal practice. I am giving my heart to this practice and yes I may have to look up from a prayer every once in a while to ask a child to share or to remind them that they should use their words and not their hands, but it is okay. This is my balance. SAMYAK SAM BUDDHA YA!