1, 2, 3... more like 1 and 3

I am in the process of planning my baby's 1st birthday. I am in awe that it has almost been one year since the birth of Leeya and three years since the birth of Liana. I can barely remember what life was like before them. I know that it was not a better life, or worse, it was just different and I thank them every day for allowing me the opportunity to be their mom. Here are some highlights of the last 12 months with my girls....


at the hospital
she loved her from the very beginning


more love

true happiness


How could I be anything but happy that I am able to wake up every morning to these smiling faces. I love them more than I ever thought I was capable of loving. HAPPY BIRTHDAY my two princesses!!!!


*I will post pics of Liana's birthday celebration soon...lots of smiles and cupcakes. What else could a 3year old ask for???

It's Easy If You Try

This week at work has been so hectic since it is the final week before our biggest fundraiser. It's always crazy because everyone is on edge and overworked and the day to day things are still going on, but no one really has time to deal with these sort of things. The problem is, no one will admit that so everyone feels an added sense of pressure. With that said, I am very happy to be home "early" and able to put some thoughts down on "paper".

I've been doing a lot of thinking. Trying to go inside myself to see where I need to go and in what direction my life will lead. I can't say that I know for sure, but what I can say is that this week I learned a very valuable lesson and I would like to share this experience with all of you. I don't want to bore you with too many details but please bear with me as I let you into a little piece of me and not so much the girls.

There are certain things in my life that have "felt right" but nothing so much as meditation. It's crazy to think that the journey that I am on started many years ago when I walked into a very good friends house and just before opening the door he whispered, "Please keep your voices down and walk right into my room because my mom is meditating". I don't know how long I stood there between the front door and the bedroom door, but it felt like hours. I swear I can almost smell what the house smelled like and I just remember staring in awe at this person, so serene, so calm, "meditating". I thought this was the most amazing thing in the world and therein began my journey into myself. Mind you this is years later and I am not much further from where I was almost 12 years ago, but I am okay with it and that's what I'm learning is most important. Love for ME.

It sounds very cliche to say that "All you need is love" but if there is not love, then what is there? Nothing. What's crazy is that although LOVE is so easy, we have made it such a mystery because we listen to our minds and confuse it for our hearts. I am learning to distinguish between heart and mind and it's incredible the innate intuition that has been able to flourish. Basically, this is me saying to the world, I know I am not perfect, but imperfect as I am: I LOVE ME!

Flying Red Eye, Trying to get Shut Eye

We're back from vacation!! It was MUCH NEEDED time off , but I can't believe I actually survived the flights. We left on Wednesday evening at 10:55 and arrived at our first stop in Colombia at 6:00 AM! I can't even begin to explain what this was like for the girls. They are used to sleeping on their own and being able to spread out and move around (they both move A LOT while they sleep). I felt so bad because they both kept waking up when they moved to get comfortable and would look at me with the saddest eyes of discomfort. The woman that was sitting in front of the baby was very upset, she even turned around several times and gave her dirty looks to try and get her to stop kicking her seat. Now, I definitely understand that it sucks to have someone kicking the back of your chair when you are tired and on a plane but 1- she is a baby, giving her dirty looks means nothing to her 2- I had managed to get permission to use the paid ticket for the baby and therefore have her in her car seat so she slept most of the time, it was maybe 45- 1 hr that she was awake and maybe 20min to 30 min of sporatic kicks. Maybe it's because I'm her mom, but I was very proud of her and thought that she was very well-behaved. I mean two kids under 3 on a red eye??? I even had a woman copliment me on the girls on her way out so, besides the cranky woman in front of Leeya it seemed like others agreed with me.
On the way back to the US it was a muh different story. There was a huge mix up and hubby left when we were supposed to and I waited for my mom and sister. Even after the wait, the girls and I still had to leave without them (I am sparing you the details of a horrific 2 days dealing with Avianca employees that flatout lied to us). Liana was very cranky from the wait and to make things worse she spilled water all over herself and threw a fit until I took her pants off so she was in her panties from then on since all our luggage was checked. She threw another HUGE tantrum on the plane and I wanted to crawl in a hole and die!!! The flight attendants kept coming by and very politely saying how she really needed to stop screaming. I don't remember how I finally got her quiet but as soon as she got settled she fell fast asleep. After a few minutes in the air, she fell off her seat and while I thought that she would never get back to sleep, I realized that it was a blesing since she had more room to sleep on the floor and I left her there (PLEASE do not write me about how this is abuse, I swear I thought about it a lot, but she was truly comfortable and slept the whole way). Since she slept on the floor I was able to lay the baby out on her seat and sat next to her, holding her so that she wouldn't fall. Basically the only one that didn't sleep was me, making sure that both girls were comfy and that Leeya didn't fall on top of Liana while she was sleeping. She did keep hitting her head on the arm rest and she would wake up cying each time she did it, so I was also holding her trying to get her not to move up too far. Overall, it was a very very tiring trip and my lesson learned was to never do a red-eye trip with youg kids again OH and more importantly, never fly AVIANCA ever!!!


Here they are, sleeping on the way there:

Soaring above the clouds

I am taking the girls on their first international trip tomorrow and I am quite nervous about the flight. I have taken Liana on a short plane ride to North Carolina, that was only about an hour or so, but this is going to be 6 hours and 2 kids. Hubby will be coming as well as my mom and my sis. We're actually flying out because it is my grandmother's 90th birthday and the whole family is meeting up to celebrate it with her. So now my extended family will be able to meet my hubby and my kids :)
Back to this whole flying with two kids thing, any experiences??? thoughts??? I am "hopefully" bringing a portable DVD player (hopefully because my sister is in charge of getting it out of a trunk that is complicated to get into) also packing toys to keep my daughters entertained..... but really how do you entertain a 7 1/2 month old??? She hates being on people's laps, she doesn't really sleep in her car seat (she has to be EXTREMELY TIRED) and all she really likes is to suck on her fingers but then she makes a huge pile of drool and it's just a mess! If i have the DVD player then Liana should be good most of the way with Barney and Dora over and over. If no DVD player, well I will have to think of a REALLY great plan b.
The sad thing is that when I asked people for advice about flying I was told that I should give my children tylenol or something to calm them?!??!?!?! I barely give my children tylenol unless they have a certified fever... no precautious Tylenol before the shots, nothing like that. I just don't think it's good idea- sorry to those of you who may do this. I was just raised very hollistically and I think it messes with the immune system when you use it without actual NEED.
So here I am freaking out typing away and I'm thinking what I should be doing is thinking of a plan B... ok. I'm off to finish packing and find the best PLAN B there is.... but then again, is there really one that fits this criteria???? OH BROTHER!!! WISH ME LUCK- see you when I return :)

Gone for a sec, now I'm back for a minute :)

I apologize for being gone for a while. I got so caught up in other things that I let my passion for writing on the side and days turned into more days, that then turned into months. I finally decided it was time to be back FOR ME! So here I am with a little update about the girls.... thanks for reading. Hope you continue to enjoy our adventures :)

• LEEYA IS SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT!!! It worked! After day 5 she had a few times when I thought it was ruined, but much to my surprise she has been able to get herself back to sleep rather quickly. Sometimes I think it may also be that I've gotten used to it so I sleep through her laughing (yes, people, when she wakes up she's not crying, she's laughing so I can't even really complain).



• Leeya now has two teeth and is an expert at "running" through the house in her exersaucer. It is quite hilarious since she thinks she is always in it and is like a jumping jelly bean while in anyone's arms.

• Leeya has been on and off a nebulizer... if anyone has home remedies for congested chests, etc PLEASE let me know... the nebulizer makes me want to cry everytime I use it :(

• Liana has discovered her father's "tail". She ran into the bathroom while he was showering and belts out "daddy, you have a tail!" It was hysterical.

I'll leave you with a current picture of the two BFF's :

"Weaning" to sleep ?!?!?!?!

On Sunday May 31st I finally put my foot down and decided my 5 1/2 month old daughter is going to sleep through the night (I can hear the laughs already). I just didn't see what the big deal was, I mean I literally had my 2 year old sleeping through the night (7pm-7am) from 2 1/2 months. Yes, I know that this is not typical, but a woman can hope, right???? Well, apparently hubby knew that this was just a matter of our luck and because he does not wake up to feed the baby he has no problem with her sleep habits (well, maybe NO problem is a stretch).

In any event Sunday was the final straw- why??? I found myself waking up at 1:30AM to put the pacifier in the baby's mouth for the millionth time so that she could go back to sleep and she laughed at me! No I am not kidding, she literally LAUGHED IN MY FACE!!! So I left her for a few minutes and she proceeded the chuckle and then the babbling, as loud as she could and for what seemed like hours (really about 10 minutes). I picked her up and decided that there was NO WAY I was going to feed her or else she would get used to it and wake up every morning at this time. I was determined to win this battle! (I know you're laughing harder now!) So, I pick her up and decide I will rock her back to sleep because I am exhausted and really need to sleep. An hour or so later, she is still laying there, eyes wide open smiling at me with no looks of falling asleep.

I am thankful that she was not crying this whole time, but for goodness sake, couldn't she just go back to sleep already???? NOPE! So, I finally cave and remember that I've read about giving kids water when they wake so that they will not get used to being fed. So, low and behold I get some water and she drinks it up happily, but still no signs of sleep in sight! Hubby wakes up once or twice to ask what's going on and I eerily say that his daughter (yes, at this point she is not mine but HIS) is not going back to sleep. "OK" he says and turns to fall back asleep!

Finally, at 3:30AM I decided 2 things: I WILL NEVER endure this again AND I will be feeding her after all because I need to sleep. And guess what? She fell right back to sleep. Yes, I did think to myself that I could've fed her right away and she would've fallen asleep hours before, but I choose to think that the time was not for nothing.

The next day I happen to run into a co-worker at the fax machine who tells me she is "weaning" her daughter to sleep in her own bed. Now, I don't actually know if that's what it's called, but that's what we're calling it for all intents and purposes.

This woman tells me that my favorite Nanny, SUPERNANNY, has a technique to get your kids to sleep through the night as she also has heard that babies my child's age should be able to sleep through the night without being fed. She does remind me that I made a HUGE mistake by feeding her but I feel like I had no other choice, right??? Anyway, so the method is to let them cry in 5, 10, 15 and 20 minute intervals so that they learn to soothe themselves back to sleep. But the best part about it was that she suggested putting my daughter in the living room and just leaving the monitor in there! Why had I never thought of this??? I nearly kissed her and was eagerly awaiting that evening to start my daughter on her journey to a full night's sleep (or me, but whatever).

That night, I get home around 8pm and she is already asleep, mind you I reminded hubby about the process, but I will not allow this to get in my way. I let her keep sleeping feed her at about 10pm barely waking her and then put her immediately down to sleep. She slept until 1:30am and then woke up next at 5:30am. I did exactly as I was told and I felt like I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. the next two nights she slept beautifully and woke only once at 1:30am. I was sure this would be a breeze until last night when she woke a total of 4 times! I give her credit because she did cry herself back to sleep each time, but what is a mother to do???? This is literally human torture! I have to listen to my baby cry and do nothing about it all the while getting no sleep myself and on top of that, every little noise I hear in the living room I think is someone breaking in and trying to steal my child! I really don't know if it is progress that she is getting herself back to sleep after 20 minutes because I still can't have her in the room with her sister or she will ruin her sleep and I will not I REPEAT I WILL NOT have two children that don't sleep- NO WAY! What am I to do??? I was told 2-5 days! Tonight will be 5 days so I will update you as soon as this passes and let you know just how "correct" supernanny and my co-worker were.

Discipline: Is it only a parent's job?

I follow another blog very irregularly, but I like it because of the different topics that are posted, see it here. This particular post about disciplining other people children really hit a nerve, so I am further asking the question... how do you feel??? If someone other than yourself tries to discipline your child, is that okay? Are there certain instances when it is/ isn't ok? Let me know your thoughts.

Mother's Day Mayhem!

It's taken a few days to write about the events surrounding this year's Mother's Day because it has taken me this long to recover from it. However, let me not be horrible and neglect the wonderful things that happened in the morning.

I had requested a meal cooked by hubby as my gift because while some of you are lucky enough to share that chore, I am not! To me it's a chore since I don't willingly choose to cook everyday. I have to cook or my family will starve (hubby doesn't cook) or go broke from ordering out. So my hubby chose to make me breakfast (a delicious omelet with toast and turkey bacon). I also got flowers and many many kisses and I love you's from the girls. What a great beginning to my first Mother's Day as a mom of two!

Later in the day my mom came by with my sister and we decided to head out to hubby's family's house to say hello and possibly eat some delicious food. It was a sunny day that was looking as cheerful as any day can possibly look, but I still didn't know what I was in for.

Fast forward to hours later when my purse spills out in the middle of the street. I'm talking NOTHING left in the purse but possibly some lint that had been accumulating for months! And by "in the middle of the street" I am not just saying that, I mean it literally! Hubby and I hurry to pick everything up as quick as possible, all the while I am saying PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me pick everything up that I had in here... do not let me forget anything! Now, we all know the cardinal rule about the second you say "don't forget", that's the second that well, you "forget" whatever it is you didn't want to forget.

Well, thinking I had everything in my purse, we head out to have our early dinner at Mama Mexico. It is such a fabolous place! I had never been there before and let me tell you the most important factor- they are totally kid friendly! Our waitress was very nice and smiled at us the whole time, even when my daughter spilled a whole glass of Sangria that she had just finished pouring. She just shrugged it off and said "It's okay". I've been to plenty of places that would've rolled their eyes and looked at us like "you better leave now"! None of that there. The food was also spectacular!!! We had their famous guacamole that they make at your table, to your liking. We split the paella and the Churrasco (skirt steak) and it was just divine. All together it was a great time.

The one thing we did joke about was how they placed us in a corner away from most others, but they didn't make us feel like they didn't want us there, I think it just happened to be the table that was open. Either way, I HIGHLY recommend Mama Mexico for families and for a date night. My mom told me that she has been there during the evening when they have a mariachi band and hand out shots to people who wish to take them [just to spice things up :) ].

Now, to my drama! So we finally get home and I'm searching and searching for my keys- nowhere to be found! Mind you, right then I have this vision of my keys next to my birth control laying in the grass and I remember thinking I better go grab that and I NEVER did! So, here I am, no house keys, no car keys, no mailbox key, and no birth control! I just about lose it! I head back to where I last saw my keys (45 minutes away) and they are obviously not there. You must be thinking, what's the big deal? You must have a copy of your car keys? Well, of the Honda, yes, but of my Hoopty that I have to drop off and pick up my girls to facilitate my life- NO!

To make a long story short, my dad ends up coming by with his mechanic to rip out the ignition to the car and put a new one in, but it's not that easy. There's apparently a chip that needs to be removed so I have to call a locksmith to do the job. So, after 2 days and $275 are spent I now have a car that I can use. (Did I mention the car happened to be parked at a meter because it was Sunday??? And YES I did get a ticket despite calling the parking authority and letting them know my situation). What about my birth control, you ask? I can't get it again till next week when insurance will cover it, so it will be alternative methods till then.

So, HUGE lessons learned- 1) make a million copies of every key and have copies everywhere because you don't want to get caught like me spending insane amounts of money to pay for a new one! AND 2) if you happen to spill your purse out, make sure you have absolutely EVERYTHING when you pick things up!

SUPER WOMAN

I was having a very interesting conversation today with a friend of mine about the things that we won't dare say to people about our kids and certain feelings (deep down inside) that come up. The thing is, I feel like so many women can relate to feeling so down in the dumps that it feels like if we tell someone then we are guilty. Of what, you ask? I don't know. Just guilty. Maybe, to a mom, guilty of not loving her kids enough. To a wife, maybe of not loving her husband enough. To a woman, maybe of not loving herself enough. The common thing is that feeling of guilt that overrides any sensation to just tell someone how you are feeling in the hope that someone can relate. But how do you tell someone that you think you're not ready to be a mom and you have two kids? How do you tell someone that you don't know if you are in love with your husband and you have been married for 10 years? How do you tell someone that you have been one step away from falling so deep in a depression you couldn't dream of getting out? You can't and you know you can't because we women have a cape that has been placed on us over generations.

We have been told that we can offer help, but don't dare ever REALLY ask for it. We can cry and we can tell people what we are feeling, but we are told to never really show weakness. I don't know if this is more of a Latina thing, but I know I have spoken to others who are not and they can relate. They relate to this idea that we place on ourselves of this unbreakable, unbeatable SUPERWOMAN.

I have to openly admit that I have been guilty of this. A perfect example is when I went back to work and Leeya was finally sleeping better and it seemed like her colic had subsided, I began to tell people how horrible I was feeling being home and how all I wanted was to be at work because that I knew how to do. That was something I knew I was good at. Everyone kept asking why I hadn't said anything earlier and while I kept giving roundabout answers I realized that I did not give anyone a straight answer and I think the reason for that was that I didn't have one. I didn't know why I didn't tell people, but as I reflected and continue to reflect back I realize that it was mostly because I did not want to admit to myself that I was miserable. I was certainly not depressed because though I cried- oh boy did I cry- I didn't feel miserable ALL THE TIME. I just couldn't fathom why things had felt so right with my first baby and not with the second. I really thought because this was the second time around that I would be "used to it" and know "just what to do". I know it seems ridiculous, but I thought it and when it wasn't like that I thought it was my fault.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I am working on taking off this cape and I know you can too! I have been doing a lot of thinking and I know that this won't be easy but I have not been honest with myself and if I can't be honest with me then who can I be honest with? I know now that I can be a "super" mom, but don't have to be "supermom" and more importantly I can be a "super" woman, but don't have to be "Superwoman".

Have you ever felt like a "super" woman or do you feel like you have to be Superwoman?

Short and sweet....

WOW! Everyone is asleep and by everyone I mean everyone!!! No TV's no nothing, just me and the computer. (Much needed side note before I start).

Liana saw Leeya for the first time this morning since we dropped her off a week ago. It was the cutest thing in the world, because she got on my bed (as she usually does to give her daddy a kiss and peeked into the pack n play (where Leeya currently sleeps) and she says "Baby sister!!! Oh look at baby sister, SO CUTE!" (and proceeded to stand on my bed and reach in to give her a kiss! It was really cute. Like I said, I think she really missed her. It kind of makes you wonder about what else Liana thinks about and how much she is really missing things/people when she says so and not just screaming whining about something she wants- NOW!

The Bond of Sisters

It's been a crazy week! Last time I wrote, I told you about my drama with shingles/chicken pox. Well, I finally found someone to stay with the baby, but she is all the way in PA! My mom lives out there so at least she will be stopping by in the middle of the day and she will be sleeping at my mom's.

I never thought it would be this hard to be without my baby girl. I dropped her off on Sunday and I literally cried as I was driving away. I haven't admitted that to anyone out loud because I sort of feel like a loser about it, but it's the truth. The calls to my mom started immediately. She's usually complaining to me about how infrequently I call her (at least 2-3x/week) but now I have been calling her about 3-4x/day. I know she is secretly LOVING it, but she would never dare say so as I think she believes if she acknowledges it then it will be over.
(Thankfully Leeya is doing fine and no outbreaks as of yet).

The other thing that I did not expect at all was for Liana to miss her baby sister. I explained to her when we were leaving PA that her baby sister would be staying with "Abuela" (my mom is Abuela and Hubby's mom is Grandma) because she was "sicky". She said "Ok Mommy, baby sister stay with Abuela. Bye Baby Sister, I love you!" And we were off. The next morning she comes into our bedroom and says, "Mommy, where's baby sister?" and I remind her that she is with Abuela. So she says, "Oh baby sister sicky" and makes the saddest face ever! I gave her a hug and promised her we'd call her later on in the day.

Then, on our way to the sitter she told everyone she saw on her way, as well as the sitter once we got there that her Baby Sister was "sicky" and she was with "Abuela" and everytime making that sad face. I swear, as much as I hear that the second child causes so much stress for the first child, I have to say that as of yet I haven't seen anything but real love between my daughters. I watch how Leeya reacts to Liana when she is literally inches away from her face talking/singing/reading a book to her and she is just all smiles. When Liana sees her sister in the morning, I've taught her to say, "Good morning" and the smile on both of their faces during this process is priceless.

I really love my girls and I am so happy and proud that even with how little they both are, I already know they REALLY love each other and the bond they will have will only grow.

Take Your Kids 2 Work Day

Today was the infamous Take Your Kids to Work Day that I spoke about in an earlier blog (I was really annoyed about 1000 meetings leading up to the event). I must take back these ill-thoughts and say that when all was said and done, it truly was a fun day for the kids. Because of Leeya's incubation, I could only take Liana, but I think it was a great time for she and I to bond and have some one on one time. She had my undivided attention all day and I know she loved it! She certainly had more candy and treats than any child should have in one day but she smiled all day (albeit there were a few minor tantrums that were stomped out quick) and nothing is better than her smile. Check out some pics from our day :)

The one in the pigtails is Liana:

Learning the proper way to do a "hand-shake" (never too early to learn)

waiting to make an important copy (of her hand)

Apparently, she bites her nails (I will have to put an end to this PRONTO!)

See, it was a GREAT day!!!!! :)

Since I can't hate her, I guess I'll just love her

So, it's Wednesday and I'm working from home. "Great" you say, but NO not at all! The reason I am home is beyond even my wildest dreams (and trust me, I have many). So, my sister comes over for the first time in a long time to see the girls and we are all delighted to see her. We play, we laugh, we eat and then we all go to bed. The next morning this "wonderful routine" that hubby and I AMAZINGLY got down in a matter of days was turned COMPLETELY upside down by my sister's phone call and then subsequent calls to Dr's, etc. She had been to the dermatologist and he told her she has Shingles. WHAT!?!??!?!?! so the conversation goes "but you had chicken pox, how did you get shingles" she says "apparently stress-related". She is under a lot of stress with her job but I really can't focus on that no matter how hard I try all I can think about is my poor little Leeya and what this means about her. Immediately I call her pediatrician, and as is her non-worried, always calm (in an almost rude way) demeanor she says she must call back later. So I then get right on WebMD and find this notice how the bottom says to be careful to avoid babies, but without further explanation as to why. Now, I pride myself in being the type of person that does not freak out about health related issues but this time it has to do with my baby and I can't help but freak. I call my sister back and she says that the Dr said she is not contagious so she's sticking with that and will be going back to work the next day??? I wanted to go through the phone, but instead I figured I would wait and speak to my baby's pediatrician to see what she says. So, just when I am about to really lose it (around 6pm) I finally get a nonchalant call from the Dr saying that my daughter has an incubation period for chicken pox of 21 days, but that my 2 yr old is fine since she got the vaccine. Just in case I didn't understand what she was saying I repeat back, "so how long do I have to keep her out of day care and away from other kids" in a rather annoyed tone, "21 days, figure it out". I wanted to crawl in a hole and die! Yes, a bit dramatic, but remember I just got back to work from maternity leave I DO NOT have sick or vacation time, I don't know anyone who will stay with my baby for a nominal fee and worst of all, even if I did I don't know anyone who doesn't work! So, now I am digging through all my contacts to see if there is someone, anyone out there that I can trust to keep my baby loved, fed and cared for, for the next 3 weeks!!! UGH!!! While, I do understand that she did not do this intentionally, I have to quote a conversation with my mom. I said, "Ma, I know this wasn't on purpose, but REALLY, the ONLY person this would happen to is [my sister] and I guess....all we can do is love her".
Has anyone ever felt like as soon as they got a routine down, it got annihilated???? Please share!

"Excuse me?" Did you mean "MOVE?"

It's Friday, which means I have endured another week of morning and evening rush hour commutes with people seemingly pushing you on purpose because clearly where they need to go is more important than where you need to go AND it is much more important for them to reach their destination first. I wonder what would happen to these such people if they were forcibly slowed down??? What if I had a button that would make everyone go remarkably slow but they would feel how slow they were going and still exist in their "fast" mindset??? Would this drive people to the brink of insanity???? I think so! I truly don't understand it. I mean I literally saw someone get on the train today and have the nerve to say "excuse me" to the person that they were pushing out of the way. Is it really necessary for you to say "excuse me?" Clearly the more accurate word for what you want is "move", so if you are bold enough to be pushing someone out of your way why fake kindness and say "excuse me?" Say what you mean, at least this way people will know your a big fat JERK!
Maybe I have become unaccustomed to this rude behavior and maybe sometime in the near future I will be doing the same thing, as I will have assimilated into "commuter mode," but I surely hope not!

Easter: Egg Hunt and more....

Easter was a great day with the family! I woke up after minimal sleep because of an amazing meditation I attended on Saturday night (I don't know how I have been surviving without meditation for so long-glad to be back). I had my mom over for the holiday so she helped with the kids and of course the usual holiday schedule began. How much time to spend with what half of the family???? My sister and I had it mostly figured out- morning with dad, afternoon with mom at Easter Egg Hunt and then off to hubby's family's home. Things went great! We had pizza and ice cream and even some cake- EVERYONE was happy (and pooped) by the end of the day! Check out some pics of our fun-filled day!

And we're off (Easter Egg Hunt):

Looking for eggs....

holding on tight to her treasure (eggs).... (check out the bag)

painting eggs.....(smock on over dress-hahaha)

My Little Leeya in her Easter Dress.....

Too "Busy" to Potty

I've been having some trouble logging on because things have been so hectic now that I am officially in the full swing of things at work (and nothing has changed at home- still a Full Time mom), but I assure you that my life has not been any less eventful than usual. Where do I begin???
I'm not sure if I've mentioned that my 2 year old daughter has been potty trained for a number of months now.... I have only her sitter to thank for this because I would not even know where to begin with that, but I digress. So, she's GREAT and tells me when she has to go even when I've completely forgotten that she is not an adult and can't just go into the bathroom and pee on her own. Unfortunately, she does not do the same for her sitter and when I went to pick her up the other day she is wearing pants that are clearly not hers and running around like nothing is up. When I ask her what happened and why she is not in her own jeans she says "Nana pee pee". The cutest part about it is that she points to herself like I don't know who Nana is. Poor sitter! I ask her what happened and she tells me that she had asked Liana if she needed to use the potty and she insisted she didn't (but really she was busy playing and couldn't be bothered with using the potty). She found out the hard way when later she went to get her to tell her that this time she "had" to go just in case, but she had already peed everywhere! The funny part (but maybe not so funny at the time for her) is that it was clear that it had not just happened but Liana kept playing as if nothing had happened without a care in the world. I remind Liana that she has to tell her sitter when she has to pee, just like she tells mommy and she says in her cutest voice "Yes Mommy!"
Meanwhile, I called the sitter yesterday to tell her that my hubby is running late because he got out of work late and she tells me that she peed again!! OMG! I don't know what it is, but when I tell you that the ONLY time she has peed while with me was when she was in "time out" and I thought she was saying she had to pee so that she could get out of time out. Boy was i surprised to find that puddle of pee and all I could do was blame myself.
So, I call my hubby and remind him that yelling at her for peeing is only detrimental and just not to make a big deal about it- "just remind her that she has to tell the sitter when she has to pee". "I know I know, I just can't understand why she doesn't do that with us". We're certainly not complaining, but just feel bad that on top of all the other stuff she's doing, she now has to worry about our daughter wetting herself because she is so engulfed in playtime.
So many other things to chat about but I'll leave you with that for now.... any suggestions on how to get my daughter to tell her sitter she has to use the potty???

Should've kept my mouth shut!

So, it's "hump day" and I'm at work SO TIRED because the hubby and I stayed up talking last night. I have to say, it is so wonderful to now be able to put my girls to bed and just have time for us. I think our relationship was really starting to feel the weight off all the changes that have been going on, but as anything - you must have your ups and your downs... just so happy that we are up!!! I think we may even have our routine down pat in the morning- he takes care of the toddler, I take care of the baby. Mind you, that means I'm up at 5:30 feeding her, but I don't mind if it means we are a team in the morning :) Yay for routines!
Getting back to the topic of work, we're having an "official" Take Your Kids To Work Day. I say "official" because for as long as I have been here, we have had Take Your Kids to Work Day, but it has never actually been on the National Day. I don't quite know why this is, but it just is. So, this year I was asked if I would like to help plan the day, I happily agreed. The thing is, I've been to these "events" and all it's ever been is crayons and games for the kids and that's that. How hard could it be to find crayons and games for kids???? OF COURSE, this year they decide that it has to be "official". That means, even for the toddlers (apparently it will be more than just toldders this year) we have to find a way to incorporate teaching them about what we do- huh???? Really??? So, I think to myself, of course the year I say I will help it has to be "official" I will also be running around after my active toddler! FANTASTIC! Did I mention we are having a meeting about it??? Send me an e-mail with your thoughts and cc everyone that wants to help. Ugh this is ridiculous. Why is this world so obsessed with meetings for everything???
I think it is important to teach kids about their parent's work or just work in general, but did we have to change the rules the year I agreed to arrange this madness??? UGH! I know it's my own fault for agreeing to do this without asking questions, but do you blame me??? It's NEVER been like that, EVER! I guess rather than blogging, I just be thinking of creative ways that toddlers can learn about what being a non-profit is all about but I'd rather blog! LOL!

Dedicated to the One I Love

For the past few months I feel like I have not been giving enough credit to my spousal equivalent (more about the title later) for all he has done to keep me sane. I feel like now that I am out of the funk I was in, I can FINALLY see that I was in a funk and really needed to be amongst the adult community a little more. I think this had a lot to do with the hibernation that comes with winters in the Tri-State area, but I don't know if that is completely why. In any event, he really has done so much that I feel like I was refusing to see, being in the funk that I was in. So, now I want to say THANK YOU!!! Thank you to him and all the men who change dirty diapers and give baths to their kids... thank you to the men who pick their kids up from day care so that mom can have alone time at the gym (or if you're home, staying home with the kids so mom can have alone time). THANK YOU to the men who allow us women to be a little crazy because we are so stressed and ask us calmly why we are being cranky instead of the word you really want to use. THANK YOU to the men who wake up on Saturday morning to entertain your toddler so that you can lay in bed just a little longer because you're tired from staying up with the baby. Basically, THANK YOU, as I see it, to not only the men but whoever you are out there that is the other half of a "functioning" relationship and is helping your better half be the better half they know how to be and being thier better half too. THANK YOU to everyone out there for just being you and allowing me to be me!

My Oh My What a Wonderful Day!

I feel very bad because there is a backyard in view from our living room window that my two year old often points to and says "I love slide". These neighbors have a swing set with slide and everything included. It is so sad because she gets so happy like if she asks nice enough she will be able to go out and play in it. So today, as soon as I heard it was going to be nice out (65 degrees was the high) we took showers and headed outside. It was so great. Of course she was on the slide right away and then went back to last year's infamous swing. The thing is, I am not the type of person to be trying to dictate where she should play, but when there are so many other things to do why not run around and do that? Anyway, I let her be on the swing for as long as she wanted, but as if someone knew how badly I wanted her to just run around and "have fun" at the park she noticed a little girl by the slide that she decided she wanted to play with. I was in heaven! I am always looking for new people to chat it up with at the park, especially those that have kids in my children's age range. Well, up to now it had only been my toddler's age, but you get my point. AND here she finds the cutest little girl who is very interested in playing with her too. My daughter is very much a leader so she took the little girl by the hand and led her to where she wanted to play and the little girl happily followed. I am happy to say that at the end of this unintended play date, I exchanged numbers with her mom and we're planning another (this time planned) play date.... what a beautiful day!!!

Dare I say the "C" word?

I've had a rough past few days.... I feel really badly for my 2 year old who is getting the short end of the stick because my frustration level has peaked and she happens to be around the most. I have come to the "unofficially diagnosed" conclusion that my 3 month old daughter has infant colic. (From Wikipedia- "[an infant has colic if] she cries intensely more than three days a week, for more than three hours, for more than three weeks in a month." This and many other things have led me to this conclusion. I will briefly allow you into my world for the past three months.
I tried to breastfeed- it was a DISASTER!!!!!!!!! My baby did not sleep a wink, in fact she would only sleep when she was on the breast. I only found out she was not getting enough nutrients and was "pretend sucking" (really only sleeping) because she was borderline Jaundice and I had to supplement. When I tried to take her off the formula and only offer breast milk she became worse so I had to keep up with the supplement. With this began the bouts with the formula. Essentially, the only way she would calm was if she was held- not in a carrier or sling, in MY arms in a certain position that does not leave any hand free.
Now mind you, this may not have been SO HORRIBLE had I not had a two-year old running around craving my attention. She is very well-spoken for her age and told me very often that every time she wanted to do something with me it was "BABY BABY BABY EVERY TIME!" I realized at this point that if I did not let up on trying to breastfeed, the relationship between my older daughter and her baby sister was going to be a bad one.
The first few days (I can't even pretend to remember accurately because it really feels to me like one big blur-not in a good way) were okay. She fed and slept appropriately, but then the screaming began. No, not crying, SCREAMING!! She would have days with one hr TOTAL of sleep and this did not mean that she was up just hanging around, nope, she was screaming without being able to calm. I would get a slight glimpse into what I knew could be a reality (as per first child) but it was only a glimpse and it was followed by endless screaming and fussiness.
This, my friends, has not ended. I have tried changing formula several times from sensitive to gentle to hypersensitive to I don't even know what else. I have tried "natural" home remedies like Chamomile and gripe water, but all things only offer temporary relief. I'm at my wits end and don't know what to do.
I am sure there are parents out there who have battled with infant colic (because I'm with you- this is a battle, one I am trying desperately to win, but a battle nonetheless). PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know I am not alone.... and if so, what have you done???? Does this end? Maybe just hearing from someone who has been through this can help me see the light.

Adventures at the Zoo

It was a beautiful Sunday morning so we decided to pack the family up and go to the zoo. It would be the first time that we took the girls and we knew our 2-year-old would absolutely LOVE it, especially since her current favorite DVD is Barney at the Zoo. We were right, she LOVED it. More about that in a minute. Let me just tell you a little about what this day started like. We planned on being out by ten AM but since we spent a sleepless night up with the baby it was hardly easy to do anything in the morning but we were determined so we proceeded as if we had not had the kind of night we had. (I will spare you the details but just imagine, lots of screaming and no sleeping). Since we were going to be doing a lot of walking I knew this would be the perfect opportunity to take out the Double Stroller, but unfortunately it was still in the box-again, determination took over and I decided I would build it before we left. It took me about 20 minutes (maybe more like a half hour) to figure out how to open up the darn thing and then another 40 minutes to put it together. I often am the one to step up and want to build the things that need to be built or fixed (something I've loved doing since I was a child) but it was rather frustrating to be building something and have my spousal equivalent walk by laughing about how frustrated I was. Mind you, I did not want him to help as that would have made it worse, but just keeping his mouth shut would have sufficed.
So low and behold the "school bus" was built. And we were off to the Zoo (at 12pm!)
We finally arrive at the Zoo with a packed car (a friend came with us) and met more friends there. It was a beautiful sunny day and I just hoped for a day without much drama. I am proud to say that both of my children behaved. I received several compliments about my 2 year old and how well-behaved she was and also about the baby who slept most of the day (I knew I would pay for this later, but I'll tell you about that on another post).
We saw bears and leopards and turtles- it was such a great day!!! My two year old kept saying "Look mommy, the animals" with a HUGE smile on her face- I would not trade this for anything in the world!
I must say it was very sad to see a skinny polar bear and other animals that just seemed so out of their element. And so, dare I say, unhealthy. I know that I selfishly love to have easy access to these animals, but at what cost to them??? I will post pics so you can see what I mean. The leopards/panthers who I know need space to run had literally a closet space to live in so they certainly had no room to run. IT WAS SO SAD!
However, we did have a great day and my daughter felt like she was in a personal episode of Go Diego Go. She even pretended to have her binoculars all day- it was the cutest thing EVER!! If you've seen Diego, you know what I mean.
Well, I'm off to bed. My sister is staying over so that she can stay up with the baby and I can get some sleep- God Bless Her, but I don't think she knows what she's in for. Selfishly I won't tell her... I really need some rest.

Parenting- the only job that's really FULL TIME

What a crazy day today.... i can't believe that although it has been two years I have become so unaccustomed to random crying fits. I am reminded that my older daughter did not cry the way my current baby does, but i hardly believe that. I feel like when i think hard enough I remember being told that she cries too much, but since she was the only one in the house at the time I did not notice so much. The problem is now i am trying to stop one from crying so that the other one does not start and well all in all so that i do not start. I am not proud to admit that i had two visits to the bathroom today where i sat on my toilet contemplating my next move (while sobbing into my hands). Really??? What plan did I think i would come up with? Like there's a science to this whole motherhood thing... obviously if it was that easy there wouldn't be endless books, articles and even blogs about the topic. THIS IS A FULL TIME JOB..... and yet supposedly that doesn't start for a few weeks!

150lbs and 4yo??? How did this happen?

So I got o pick up my daughters at day care today (first day of the baby at day care- a trial run i guess you can call it) and i sat down to speak to the sitter for a little bit. I think I just felt so good to have a day to myself after so many months I didn't want to think about how soon I would be back home to feeding/diapering/coloring/reading/cooking, etc all at the same time (practically). Anyway, so I sit to talk to her about the children (mine are 2 of five that she currently has- one being her grand-daughter) and she is telling me about the 4 month old that she has and how much she is currently eating. Now, i try not to judge parents as i see many people passing judgment on me and i want to SCREAM, but let me explain.... she is four months old and since she was 2 MONTHS OLD she has been eating solids (well puree but you get the point). I thought this was unheard of but her mom claims the doctor recommended it. (I want to ask her the Dr's name so I make sure to never go anywhere near him/her). She is currently what i would consider a very overweight child. I don't know lbs per say but let me just say that it is not a far stretch to say it is more comfortable to pick up my 2 year old for a 1/2 hr than to pick her up. Mind you my daughter is on the skinny side because of her height, but really this girl is 4 months old. She eats 6 oz of milk and then proceeds to eat a plate of veggies AND a plate of fruit..... are u kidding me???? And her mom is not on alert? Obesity is rampid in this country and it is a health concern- does she not see this? or does she not care? That's what i want to know! So the sitter has told her this is really not a good idea and has tried to feed her less just to see if she can make her diet a little more normal- she cries until she is fed her usual surplus of food. So, now to my 150lb 4 yr old- yes people I said 150LBS!!!!!!!!! It is the 4 month old's cousin and at age 4 he was 150lbs. He has been hospitalized mutliple times for heart problems and he has a sister that is 2 years younger and following in the same footsteps...... is it a stretch to say this is abuse??? Apparently he and his sister can finish (and have many a times) an 8-slice pie of pizza by themselves! I mean everyone loves a chubby little baby to squeeze their cheeks, but isn't this going a bit too far??? This is adult weight! ugh! I don't even know what to say....i'm appalled.

I'm back and I'm here to stay- i hope

So, I have not written in a long time. This was mostly due to a busy schedule and i guess also a need that was met by other means.... I no longer feel that way. I need to speak out on certain things and since this is "the thinks i think" this is the perfect way for me!
I am happy to say that today is a good day- my daughters are both napping (2yo and 2mos old) it won't last long so I will be quick. First, I want to make a quick comment on the headline-making Chris and Rihanna ordeal- I know many people were expecting her to be a role model for battered women, but jsut because she is a celebrity does not mean that the cycle of abuse has not hit her smack in the face (no pun intended, I swear). She has believed a man that she loves that he will not hit her again, is she stupid for doing it , probaby but is this what usually happens in DV cases-YES! I pray for you Rihanna that he does not hit you again. Second, I would like to address this whole Michael Jackson going back on tour thing. Do we really care??? (in the words of MC in Home ALone) I DON"T THINK SO! Finally, my wrap up is regarding R.Kelly and his infamous sex tape. So, not ony is this fool (for lack of better curse word i cannot use) getting away with something he clearly did (no i do not believe if the glove don't fit you must acquit, he was a liar too) but someone he paid to get rid of tapes that would make him guilty has to chase after him to get paid- U ARE SCUM! Is it that America forgets the wrongs that people have done because they are good looking or can make good music????? I don't know about CB just yet. I have not made up my mind. I mean, he is a victim of what he has seen (more on that later) but R. Kelly does not get play in my presence I DO NOT CARE- I have two little girls i love/respect way too much to have them grow up listening to him! THE END. (enter screaming child wanting to be let out of bed-i knew this wouldn't last).